Number One Movie Ignored by Biggest Fans

Number One Movie Blockbuster Ignored by Biggest Fans
– article by Paragon Pundit

ATLAS PARK, PARAGON CITY, RI – (BRXC) The City of Crime may be the number one place to be for most of the world this weekend, but surprisingly it is not the case for one metropolitan city known for their superheroes.

“The City Knight”, the sequel to the ever-popular movie “MidKnight Begins”, set box office records on its Friday Midnight debut in most places around the United States… except for Paragon City.

Box office sales for the movie in Paragon City have been surprisingly anemic on Friday, with most of the movie’s biggest potential draw spending the time fighting real-world crime and stopping real-world dangers.

Paragon City officials blame the lack of box office draw on an infrequent mystical event called by some as the “Double XP Weekend”, where personal and group rewards for superhero activities are doubled for that period of time.

“It’s really a bad series of coincidences” said Susan Davies, in charge of the Enhanced Logistics for Insight and Tactical Excellence. “Most of this city’s heroes are huge fans of MidKnight. They’ve grown up with the comic books, they enjoyed the animated series, and many of them will even say that they began their careers to be just like MidKnight. If the debut was done on any other weekend, every single theatre in this city would be packed to the brim with superheroes!”

Ironically, much of the filming of the movie, which has the natural-based scrapper fighting his arch-nemesis HelliJester, was done in Galaxy City and Steel Canyon through coordination with ELITE. Davies is even listed in the film’s credits as “Location Coordinator”.

Davies said that city officials petitioned distributor Barner Boys to move the debut either one week ahead or back, but Barner executives balked at the idea, saying that their release date was set months ago.

“We can’t change the XP weekend,” Davies said. “That’s like trying to stop the planet from rotating. Well actually we have a few heroes that can do that, but you get the general idea.”

Barner officials are currently mulling over the idea of an exclusive premiere party for the superheroes to be held the following weekend with a special appearance by most of the cast.

Meantime, Lord Recluse has banned the film from being shown in the Rogue Isles, accusing it of being “Pro-Statesman propaganda”. Recluse had previously banned the showing of the film’s predecessor for the same reason.