A Winter Message from Reverend NeoCon

(The following message was delivered to the Chronicler by private courier.)

Good morning and Merry Christmas all you true receivers all across the fruity lands! It is I, your minister of truthiness and deacon of decency, the Reverend NeoCon himself, F. Sean Rush.

Before I dispense with the good news and get all of my loyal and dedicated fans up to speed with your favorite talk show icon, there are a few rumors that I must first dispel.

First, contrary to the rumors being generated by the godless liberalistas in the media, I was NOT killed, nor was I ever sent to prison. In fact, I can assure you that my record has been spotless since the day I was born! I have NEVER been convicted of ANY kind of crime, and you will never see “jailbird” attached to my name ever!

Quite the contrary, my friends, I had been given a RARE and last-minute opportunity to bring my message across to the Rogue Isles as a goodwill ambassador for all of the frustrated neocon believers yearning for truthiness and justice for all. Unfortunately, time was not on my side, so I DO apologize for not telling my true receivers what was going on. My transportation to the Rogue Isles had to be done in secret and without so much as a moment’s notice so the liberalistas and their corrupt friends in the government would not try to stop me. You know how those liberalistas are always trying to stop me from spreading my sermon of truthiness.

My crusade has been some what successful so far. I’ve been busy building a new ministry of decency and moral values here, and I am gaining followers right and left! At some point soon I will be able to secure a broadcast facility and once again bring you a status report of all the things we’ve been doing here.

The good news is that I managed to meet with some very influential people during my journey. The good people at The Faction for a Better Tomorrow have been really helpful in getting my message across and helping me build my ministry of truthiness and all good neocon things.

And I am pleased to announce that I have just secured an endorsement from Father Time himself! Yes, it turns out that the man with time literally on his hands has been a longtime listener of my show and had personally asked ME to help him save Baby New Year from those rabid liberalista monsters. In addition to his endless thanks, he has given me some newfound powers as well… powers which he said would be needed to fight the evil liberalistas.

So be true to yourselves, my loyal neocon receivers, and do not despair, for I have not left you! My message is still going strong and it can only get stronger.

Oh, and by the way, those things you’ve been hearing about me about dark magics? Those are just more liberalista lies. I don’t have any “dark powers”, nor do I suck the life out of people. Those are just the liberalistas trying to explain why their lies don’t hold up against the beacon of truth that is me, F-Sean-bo.

(Pictured: Reverend NeoCon with Father Time in the Pocket D ski chalet.)