Paragon Pundit Hero Movie Review #26

Paragon Pundit Hero Movie Review

#26: Iron Man

Very rarely do you have a movie role that is custom-made for an actor. This is especially true when it comes to moves based on well-known comic book characters. Quite often the actor has to make the character their own, such as Michael Keaton with “Batman” or Hugh Jackman with the character Wolverine in “X-Men”.

But the 2008 movie “Iron Man” stands out as one of those films where the title character was custom-made for its star, Robert Downey Jr. From start-to-finish, you actually believe that he’s the millionaire inventor Tony Stark.

The movie was released by Marvel Studios, the first movie financed by the Comic Book company, and stars Downey, Gwyneth Paltrow, Terrance Howard, Jeff Bridges, Faran Tahir, Paul Bettany, Clark Gregg, and Shawn Toub. It was directed by Jon Favreau, who is probably better known for his acting ability than as either a writer or director, but he certainly earned his stripes here.

We start with weapons-maker Tony Stark (Downey) in a military caravan going through the hills of Afghanistan when his convoy is under attack by terrorists. He tries to flee but ends up being wounded by a bomb explosion.

We learn from flashbacks that Stark was the prodigal son of super-genius Howard Stark, the founder of Stark Industries until his tragic death. Since then the company was under the control of Obadiah Stane (Bridges), allowing Tony to live the life of an out-of-control playboy. He skips out on cushy award ceremonies, leaving the uncomfortable acceptance speeches to his friend, Lt. Colonel Jim “Rhodey” Rhodes (Howard), while he brushes off snarky titles of his war-making empire being hurled by cute liberal reporters by sleeping with them. The aftermath of his latest conquest allows us to see the role of Tony’s assistant, Pepper Potts (Paltrow), which is to basically handle the dry cleaning and show the one-night-stands out the door after being scared by the “smart house” named JARVIS (voiced by Bettany).

While Rhodes tries to get Tony to be more serious about what he is doing, Tony is getting lap dances on his private jet and hauling around chilled drinks in his portable bar on their way to Afghanistan. There Tony shows off his latest creation, the “Jericho” missile, which leads us to the ambush by the terrorists.

Tony discovers that he has been taken hostage by a terrorist group called “The Ten Rings”, led by a man named Raza (Tahir). Tony is only alive because of an invention from fellow hostage Dr. Yinsen (Toub) that keeps a piece of shrapnel from entering his heart. Raza wants Tony to build his own “Jericho” missile, and gives him all the parts from Stark Industries to do it. Tony is disgusted at seeing his own weapons in the hands of terrorists but “agrees” to Raza’s demands as long as he has the help of Yinsen.

Rather than build a new missile, though, Tony uses the weapons to create a prototype miniature arc reactor so he could keep the shrapnel away from his heart and still have mobility. He also begins construction of a special suit of armor that would allow him to power through the steel doors, survive the hail of bullets from the terrorists, and escape by rocketing away. The suit works, although Yinsen would be killed in the cross-fire, and while the rockets allow him to fly away from the cave, it’s only short-lived as he ends up crashing in the desert. Thankfully he is rescued by Rhodes and is returned home.

After stopping at a (fast food product placement) to get a couple of hamburgers, he shows up at Stark Industries, brushes off Stane’s welcome, and announces to the world that he is no longer in the weapons-making business, and would instead be doing something else entirely. This does not sit well with the people around him, though, especially Stane.

Tony’s first new invention is to replace his prototype arc reactor with a new one. He then uses that extra power to construct a new energy-based repulse device that would allow him to fly. These lead to some new comedic scenes with his robot aids, one of which he refers to constantly as “Dummy”, and JARVIS. Pretty soon he’s developing a new suit of armor around the repulse devices. After the first field test of the new armor results in him almost crashing because of the high altitude temperatures, he attends a Stark Industries function (complete with a cameo by Stan Lee as “Hef”). There he meets Agent Coulson (Gregg) of the special top-secret Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division. (Yes, they shorten it at the end of the movie to something that people will recognize.) Coulson has been pestering Stark for a debriefing, but Tony has been ducking him like he’s ducked everything else. But to appease Coulson, Stark says he’ll arrange things with his secretary, whom he quickly spots wearing a beautiful evening gown. Stark and Pepper have a semi-romantic exchange, and then when he’s getting more drinks, he finds out through the reporter he earlier slept with that his company is arming the Ten Rings after all, and that Stane has been leading the stockholders in locking Stark out of the company.

Tony takes his new armor (now with the familiar gold-and-red finish) back to the Middle East, where takes out the Stark Industry weapons and many of the Ten Rings terrorists. On the way back, he has to reveal to Rhodes that he’s inside the armor to get the Air Force to stop attacking him for violating the “no-fly zone”. Meanwhile, Stane has taken out Raza and the rest of the Ten Rings that have retrieved what was left of Tony’s original armor. Stane has the armor pieces sent over to his own people, only to find they can’t replicate the most important component because… they’re not Tony Stark! (Of course!)

It’s at this point that I’m going to have to pause things, because I don’t want to spoil how the movie ends if you haven’t seen it yet. I will say, however, that you do not want to miss what happens after the credits. In fact, this movie is the one that starts a long string of “teaser” clips getting people hooked to Marvel’s “ultimate production”.

In terms of casting, there are some great and some okay choices. Downey as Tony Stark has to be spot-on the best casting, period. Tony Stark as a character is far from perfect, and given some of Downey’s real-world history, he seems to be a natural. One has to wonder if there would even be a script needed, or if Downey was just told “Okay, be yourself and have fun.” Casting Bridges as Obadiah Stane was a bit of a surprise, since I didn’t really know the character, and having Bridges end up being the villain in this was a shocker, never mind making him BALD!

On the other hand, casting Gwyneth Paltrow as Pepper Potts seemed to be one of those moments where you have to ask “WHY?” when you see what the character really does, and I don’t mean the “dry cleaning and floozy-removal” role in the beginning of the movie. Pepper seems to be too flaky at times, especially at the end.

The story may seem simplistic, but it worked in that it brought an updated look to Iron Man’s origins. The original Iron Man story had Tony injured in Asia. Here, it’s Afghanistan. Using a modern-day battleground to showcase new weapons is nothing new either. Why do you think the Hummer and the Patriot missile defense system became so popular in the 90’s?

The one change that took me by surprise, though, was replacing “Jarvis” the human butler into JARVIS, the artificial intelligence “smart house” which ends up being Iron Man’s “sidekick” as well. Okay, as part of the “smart house”, I can see that happening. But using that same AI to also run the Iron Man armor? That’s a big stretch.

In all, this is a really good hero movie in terms of casting and story. So now the real challenge is… how does it handle sequels? We’ll find out in a future review of “Iron Man 2”.

Capes:	This movie easily earned four capes out of five.
Cheese:	Despite the “playboy” tone of Tony Stark, the overall cheese level is kept pleasantly low and tolerable to Mild Cheddar (1 out of 5).
Books:	While simplistic at times, the overall story works and easily earns four books out of five.

Paragon Pundit Hero Movie Review #25

Paragon Pundit Hero Movie Review

#25: Megamind

When it comes to superhero movies, it’s rare to find one that takes the superhero ideal and turns it in on itself without coming off as being incredibly cheesy. And yet, this movie manages to pull it off.

“Megamind” is a computer-animated superhero comedy movie released in 2010 by DreamWorks Animation and Paramount Pictures. It was directed by Tom McGrath and featured the voices of Will Ferrell, Tina Fey, Jonah Hill, David Cross, and Brad Pitt. It was released in both traditional and 3D formats in the theatres but only in 2D format in the DVD release.

The story begins with a rip-off of the Superman legend, namely a blue alien baby from a dying world is sent into space by his loving parents. He is given some last-minute messages and his “minion” in the form of a sentient fish before being launched into space. Unfortunately as his ship travels to Earth, it runs in conflict with another orphaned baby ship containing the “perfect baby”, and the two orphan ships race to find the “suitable family” for their babies. The “perfect” baby ends up appearing in the living room of a wealthy couple on Christmas Day while the blue alien baby ends up in a prison yard. From there, the two grow up to be in constant conflict with each other. The “perfect” child would do everything right, while the blue child would end up getting tormented and blamed for everything.

Eventually the two grow up to be rivals in Metro City, with the “perfect” child becoming the superhero Metro Man (Pitt) and the blue child becoming the evil villain Megamind (Ferrell). And for years, the two of them have the same routine, consisting of Megamind kidnapping nosy reporter Roxanne Ritchi (Fey), putting her well-being in peril, and Metro Man would foil the “master plan” and send Megamind back to prison, where he would later escape and do the same thing over again. Lather, rinse, repeat.

So when Metro City honors Metro Man with his own museum and gigantic statue, Megamind cannot help but device the “ultimate” plan to humiliate Metro Man. With the help of Minion (Cross), Megamind kidnaps Roxanne and holds her hostage, knowing Metro Man would rush to her rescue, and accidentally fall into his deathtrap. But then, much to the surprise of everyone, Metro Man announces that the deathtrap is made of copper; his one weakness. When the trap is blown up by Megamind’s death ray, a skeleton wearing Metro Man’s cape is thrown from the blast area. At long last, Megamind has won and Metro Man is dead.

For a while Megamind uses Metro City as his own playground, but he quickly discovers he is bored by it all. There is no joy in being evil when there is no hero to save the day. While he prepares to blow up the Metro Man Museum, he accidentally comes across Roxanne, who also wished that Metro Man was still around. Killing the museum curator and taking his place, Megamind begins to befriend Roxanne and decides to follow her idea of creating a new hero. He takes a sample of Metro Man’s DNA to create a serum that would give someone superpowers. But Megamind accidentally sends the serum into Hal Stewart (Hill), Roxanne’s simple-minded cameraman who is head-over-heels in unrequited love with her.

Determined to turn Hal into the superhero worthy of replacing Metro Man, Megamind and Minion launch a scheme to trick Hal into thinking he’s really a “space baby” just like Metro Man. Megamind pulls this off by using the same holographic watch he uses to trick Roxanne into thinking he’s the museum curator, and turns himself into “space dad” (which is a knock-off of Marlon Brando’s Jor-El from the “Superman” movie).

Thus we have a montage of scenes of Megamind getting to know Roxanne and of him training Hal into becoming a superhero known as Titan (or “Tighten”, since it was the only name he could trademark). He also begins to clean up Metro City from his earlier celebrations, much to the pleasure of Roxanne, who begins to think that Megamind isn’t as “evil” as he used to be.

On the evening before the “Big Battle”, Hal, as Titan, shows up outside Roxanne’s apartment to woo her, only to have her utterly reject him. Meanwhile, Minion finds out that Megamind has been sneaking away to see Roxanne in disguise and that he is actually falling in love with Roxanne. Minion reminds Megamind that “the bad guy does not get the girl”, causing Megamind to blurt out that maybe he doesn’t want to be “the bad guy” anymore. With Minion leaving him in disgust, Megamind’s date with Roxanne becomes a disaster, with her finding out that he has been impersonating the curator, and proclaiming that she could never see herself with someone like him.

Dejected, Megamind orders his numerous robot drones to prepare his “Black Mamba” outfit so he can kick off his “big battle” with Titan in style. Sauntering into Metro City in his giant robot with AC/DC’s “Black in Black” playing in the background, Megamind calls out Titan, only to spend the whole day doing nothing but waiting in front of City Hall. Much to his horror, Titan has been spending his time stealing whatever he wanted.

Revealing that he’s really both “Space Dad” and the guy dating Roxanne, Megamind goads Titan into the promised battle, until Titan announces that he’s going to actually kill Megamind for not working with him. This forces Megamind to use his “contingency plan” and contain Titan in a ball made of copper. Unfortunately Titan breaks through the ball, much to the surprise of Megamind since Titan should have the same weakness as Metro Man. Megamind leaves, and Titan announces that the city wasn’t really “saved” as it was placed under “new management”.

And we’ll leave it here, because the rest will spoil the ending.

The movie is a great play on the classic superhero story, showing how the “eternal battle” gets to the point that it becomes boring to the participants. And of course there is the “Wiley E. Coyote” dilemma of what do you do when you get what you’ve been chasing for so long. The good guy always wins, the bad guy always loses, so what happens when the bad guy finally wins? This movie plays up on it quite well.

The vocal casting is done quite well. If you didn’t know it was Will Ferrell doing the voice of Megamind, you wouldn’t have guessed. On the other hand, you can see the facial mannerisms of Roxanne and see Tina Fey doing her voice, and the same holds true to Brad Pitt doing Metro Man’s voice. The characters are done over-the-top, but only just enough to avoid being cheesy.

The use of well-recognized pop songs to mark the arrival of Megamind help sell the character, although a few songs delved more into the “music video” category than helping to sell the story. This was the mistake that the people behind “Zoom” made as well, although DreamWorks didn’t go as far as Sony Pictures did.

In all this is a good hero comedy movie, and one that even villains should be able to enjoy.

Capes:	I’m hesitant to give this movie five capes. The hero level certainly gives it four capes.
Cheese:	While this is a comedy, and a great play on the classic hero story, there is still some cheese to it. I won’t say where because it will ruin the ending, but you’ll know when you see it. Don’t worry; it’s just Mild Cheddar (2).
Books:	Megamind is a good story, although not great, and with the few songs used more for “music video” than to convey a story, I have to give it three books out of five.

Paragon Pundit Hero Movie Review - Special Comment (Superman)

Paragon Pundit Hero Movie Review

Special Comment on the Superman Movie Series

I have a confession to make: Superman is my all-time favorite superhero.

Hands-down, no doubt about it, he is the icon that I wish I could be. I wished I could do the things that he could. He could fly, he travels super-fast, he’s super-strong, and nothing except kryptonite could hurt him! Okay there’s also the whole X-ray vision thing too, but that was when I got a little older and I also wanted to see what color Lois Lane’s underwear really was.

That’s why, when I give my reviews of Superman movies, I have this tendency to give him higher marks in the “capes” category, because he will always be the iconic model.

Unfortunately when the Superman movies came out from the late-1970’s through to the late-1980’s, Superman was relegated to being a cartoon joke along with all of the other TV superheroes. Sure he was super-serious in ABC’s Saturday Morning series “Super-Friends”, but he really wasn’t the star of the show. It was about “Wendy, Marvin, and WONDER DOG!” Or it was about “The Wonder Twins AND GLEEK!” Anything to stick in lame-ass bumbling kids and goofy cartoony animals pretending to be heroes. Superheroes of the time followed the lead of the campy 1966 “Batman” movie and TV series. Everything was campy and cheesy and about as serious as a Marx Brothers marathon.

That is why “Superman: The Movie” stood out. It stood out because Warner Brothers and Alexander and Ilya Salikind DID NOT play around with this film. They kept one word in mind through the whole process: EPIC. They wanted this to be one of THE BEST films of all time, and they spared no expense to make it so. They brought in the best actors, some of the biggest names of the time, including Glen Ford and Marlon Brando. They had celebrities like Rex Reed come in as cameos appearances, but they weren’t done for the sake of having them. They cast their lead character appropriately, especially using a relative unknown for the title character. They had a superb original and POWERFUL score by one of the BEST in the business. And they spared no expense for the special effects! They utilized green-screen and wireworks, which at that time were state-of-the-art. Bear in mind this was decades before computer-generated digital effects would be possible, never mind affordable, and certainly not realistic. Their Academy Award for special effects in 1979 was well-earned.

But most importantly, they kept the cheese factor contained. Sure, some of the scenes were done for laughs, but that didn’t mean that the whole film was.

The film’s running line was “You will believe a man can fly” and they made us into believers!

Unfortunately, as with all other things Hollywood, too many people in charge lost track of the little things that made a movie like that into a hit. “Superman II” was marred by a change in directors. “Superman III” was shoved into being a Richard Pryor comedy vehicle. “Supergirl” had a non-existent story. “Superman IV” had bargain-basement executives giving bargain-basement budgets and story. By the time “Superman IV” came out, everyone just wanted the whole thing done and over with, and, yes, that included the actors AND the audience.

And don’t tell me that the magic couldn’t happen again after that first movie; because the Salikinds proved that premise wrong with their “Superboy” TV series. If the suits don’t give a care, then it should be no surprise that their finished product is going to be shoddy.

When talking about the whole Superman series, there are two key questions that need to be asked.

(1) Does “Supergirl” count as part of the series?

(2) Where does “Superman Returns” fit in?

The answer to the first question is simple and to-the-point. YES, “Supergirl” DOES and SHOULD ALWAYS be considered part of the whole “Superman” movie series, no matter how bad it really was and how far it strayed even from film canon. Ilya Salikind had every intention of including “Supergirl” as part of the whole movie cannon, including bringing in Christopher Reeve for a quick cameo as Superman. Since Reeve passed on the idea (remember this came right after “Superman III” flopped), Salikind use a poster of Reeve as Superman and had Marc McClure come in as Jimmy Olson. So that pretty much cements the movie as being part of the whole cannon.

“Superman Returns”, on the other hand, is tricky. This movie operates under the premise that everything after “Superman II” didn’t happen. It takes the best of the first two movies, strips away ALL (or almost all) of the cheese, re-casts EVERYONE, and then makes us forget that we ever heard of Gus Gorman (Superman III), Selene the Witch (Supergirl), or Nuclear Man (Superman IV).

Is it part of the movie canon? No, but it should have been.

“Superman Returns” is how the series SHOULD have progressed if it didn’t take twenty years and a complete cast change. Lex Luthor is out of prison and still fixated on land grabs and on killing Superman by any means possible. He remembers the Fortress, and he knows how to get there. Lois Lane bears the fruit of her little journey from the second movie, even if she doesn’t “remember” how it came about. There is no “god-gaze” superpower where Superman could just stare at something and it gets better. You even get to see bullets bounce off him. He has great powers without the producers relying on that stupid “god-gaze” cheat. All of the things that would have been a great tie-in to the whole story were there.

So now the new challenge for Warner Brothers is to come up with a whole new Superman movie series. And here they are running into the same problems as the last film. Shifting directors, shifting directions, and now the executives want to do a complete “reboot” of the whole film canon.

Further complicating things is the fact that Warner Brothers had the “Smallville” TV series running for ten years before FINALLY putting it - and the continual teasing on the audience - to an end. That in and of itself warrants a special comment, but reconciling the Superman lore of the series with any future movie will be a challenge.

However this new “rebooted” series progresses, if at all, credit still needs to be given to the Salikinds for proving over thirty years ago that you could do a big-budget superhero film and have it pay off. They were the ones that set the standard that other superhero series, and indeed other superhero series from other publishers, have tried to keep even to this day. Just remember that when you promise the audience that they will BELIEVE a man can fly… then you better make sure that by the time the end credits roll, that you make believers out of them all.

Paragon Pundit Hero Movie Review #24

Paragon Pundit Hero Movie Review

#24: All-Star Superman

When it comes to DC Comics animation projects, the in-house Warner Brothers Animation group pretty much has a hit-and-miss record, with more misses than hits. This is especially true when it comes to releases based on popular comic stories, and this is one of them.

“All-Star Superman” is a 2011 direct-to-video movie based on the 12-issue miniseries by the same name written by Grant Morrison and Frank Quietly. It was written by veteran screenwriter Dwayne McDuffie, who sadly passed away one day before the movie was released to video. The movie was released by Warner Premiere and featured the voices of James Denton, Christine Hendricks, Anthony LaPaglia, Ed Asner, Linda Cardellini, Frances Conroy, Alexis Denisof, John DiMaggio, Steven Blum, Fiona Hughes, and Arnold Vosloo.

The movie starts with a series of still images being narrated by Lex Luthor (LaPaglia). Each image showed a single segment of Superman’s career, until we finally see him in orbit around the sun, chasing a spaceship containing Dr. Leo Quintum (Denisof) and his staff. One member of that staff is actually being remotely controlled by Luthor, with everything being prepared in advance to account for the time differential. We find, however, that Luthor’s cosmic puppet act was in violation of his parole. Superman (Denton) still manages to toss out Luthor’s puppet and saves Quintum’s ship using a brand new superpower.

Later, Superman and Quintum discover that the Man of Steel’s new powers are a symptom of his cells becoming supercharged from being too close to the sun. Essentially he is suffering from sun-cancer and is slowly dying. They both agree, though, that they need to keep this a secret, lest his enemies try to take advantage of this. But Superman does decide to put his affairs in order.

He first reveals to Lois Lane (Hendricks) that he is, in fact, Clark Kent, but she refuses to believe it. He shows her the Fortress of Solitude and all of its features, including the reconstructed HMS Titanic, the bottled city of Kandor, his army of Super-Robots, and his pet sun-eater, which he supposedly feeds it with newly-forged baby suns. After seeing a distant future version of Superman (the Kal Kent Superman from DC One Million) and his slight resemblance to her father, Lois fears that she’s being prepared for some weird Kryptonian experiment. Stealing a kryptonite gun and inadvertently shooting Superman with it, he discovers that kryptonite no longer has any effect on him either. But it calms Lois down enough for him to give her a special suit and a serum that would give her super-powers for twenty-four hours.

Unfortunately Lois’ newfound powers take a back seat to the time-travelling troublemakers Atlas (Blum) and Samson (DiMaggio), who know about Superman’s final months and challenge him to riddles and feats for Lois’ favor. After besting them in contests and solving the riddle of the Ultra-Sphinx, Superman and Lois spend the remaining time as equals making out on the moon and then she is fascinated by all the things Superman can sense as her powers disappear, and he tucks her into her bed before leaving.

Visiting Luthor behind bars while awaiting his death sentence, Clark’s presence is detected by the Parasite and inadvertently starts a prison riot. Clark manages to contain the damage, though, while still careful to not reveal himself as Superman to any of the inmates or to Luthor, who shows a modicum of respect for the “mild-mannered” Clark Kent after kicking a disabled Parasite to death. He also shows Clark a secret passage, proving that he could escape at any time with the help of his goth-teen niece Nasthalthia (Cardellini). He stays there, though, because he knows that Superman is dying, and he wants to see it happen.

After visiting his adopted mother (Conroy) and leaving an indestructible flower on his adopted father’s grave, Superman tells Lois that he has to leave to take the Kandorians to their new home world, and reveals to her that he may not be able to make it back in his condition. He does, though, only to discover that Metropolis has two new “champions” to marvel over: Bar-El (Vosloo) and Lilo (Hughes), Kryptonian astronauts and his ancestors that see themselves not as heroes, but as the new rulers of “New Krypton”. Eventually, though, they discover that they suffered from Kryptonite poisoning and were slowly dying. The only way they could survive would be through the Phantom Zone, but not before asking for forgiveness to Superman for their arrogance.

As Superman finishes putting his affairs in order, he faces the “Tyrant Sun” Solaris, while at the same time Lex Luthor, having recreated Superman’s super-serum, escaped from the electric chair and prepares to make his move.

At this point I have to stop the summary because it would ruin the ending, which, regrettably, is really the high-point of this movie.

Unfortunately, much like some of the other stories that are turned into movies, there is a lot that is missing in the transition from the original mini-series. Jimmy Olson becoming Doomsday, Bizarro and Bizarro World, a trip to the past with Kal Kent to visit his adopted father on the day of his death, and the discovery of Earth-Q (where Joe Schuster illustrates Action Comics #1) are all scrapped due to time constraints. Instead, what we get is a story that is full of remorse and regret, and an ending that comes off as less-than-triumphant.

Sadly, the movie was working with flawed material. Without the other stories, we have a Daily Planet staff full of people that act like a bunch of over-aged high school rejects, with the exception of Perry White (Asner) who seems to be the only newsperson in the building. (Kudos for Asner for channeling his old “Lou Grant” persona.) Even worse is when Bar-El and Lilo practically reveal that Clark Kent is Superman and the “Breakfast Club” wannabes around him can’t accept it. Even Lois refuses to accept that Clark is Superman, even after seeing him change right in front of her twice. Most of Lois’ time as “Superwoman” was reduced to being a damsel-in-distress-and-cosplay as Atlas and Samson challenge Superman for her affections.

“All-Star Superman” was meant to be Superman’s Ragnarok story. We know from the start that Superman is dying. The problem is that there’s no attempt to fight it. There are no “seven stages of grief” here; there is just acceptance. He’s dying, and he doesn’t try to do anything to change it. He’s essentially given up, surrendering to his own mortality, trying to complete his “Bucket List”, and find some way to end his “hero” career on a positive note. It’s depressing.

Adding to that melancholy was the voice acting. James Denton may do great playing a rugged character in “Desperate Housewives” but his voice did not carry on through as Superman/Clark Kent. Even Adam Baldwin’s version in “Superman: Doomsday” showed more emotion than Denton’s. A far better choice would have been Tim Daly or George Newbern, two people who know how to voice Superman. Even Denton’s occasional “Desperate Housewives” co-star Kyle MacLachlan did a better job when he voiced Superman in the (to be reviewed) “Justice League: The New Frontier” movie, and THAT Superman had a bit part. The only time Denton’s voice shows even the slightest emotion in it is through one point during the Solaris battle.

Anthony LaPaglia’s Luthor was stuffy, arrogant, and a continual know-it-all. And his continual dirge about how everything is Superman’s fault got tired WAY too early.

Christina Hendricks’ Lois was perky and almost out-of-place at times. It’s not the actress’s fault, though. Most of it is how Lois is written. She’s skeptical about Clark being Superman to a fault. When Lois has superpowers, how does she spend a good portion of that time? Standing around while Atlas, Samson, and Superman fight over her affections and going gaga over stolen jewelry. Not exactly the “liberated woman” that she’s supposed to be.

Without getting into spoiling the ending, the battles with Solaris and Lex Luthor were almost after-thoughts. More time was spent on Bar-El and Lilo than on both battles.

In all, the story itself was something of a letdown, a Ragnarok-level story that ends with a whimper instead of a bang. Maybe a part of it could be blamed on the material they had to work with, but that doesn’t mean that it couldn’t be improved, and maybe it would help if they got rid of the artificial time constraints they seem to impose and just let the story develop as it needs to.

Capes:	Normally I’d have to give Superman all-five capes, but here he’s only getting three, and that’s sad.
Cheese:	The cheese factor here is Mild Cheddar (2). When your first image of Jimmy Olson is of him in drag, and both Steve Lombard and Cat Grant are there only to play middle-aged high school students, then you know that it’s cheese.
Books:	In terms of storyline, I can only give three books out of five. There is SO MUCH that is missing from this.

Paragon Pundit Hero Movie Review #23

Paragon Pundit Hero Movie Review

#23: The Punisher (1989 film)

Between box office wins such as “Spider-Man”, “X-Men”, “Fantastic Four”, and “Iron Man”, it’s hard to imagine that the Might Marvel Comics could EVER do wrong. And yet the biggest example of that fail rested with five words…

“Dolph Lundgren is THE PUNISHER!”

Okay, I’m sure you’re scratching your head over this and wondering what the heck the Pundit is talking about, right?

Well, the film that you probably know as “The Punisher”, be it the 2004 incarnation featuring Thomas Jane or the 2008 “War Zone” movie featuring Ray Stevenson (both films on the “To Review” list), is actually the second and third attempt at telling the story of the gritty skull-bearing Marvel vigilante.

The first incarnation, however, was abysmal, and you can understand why people would not want to remember that it was even made.

This “Punisher” was released in 1989 by New World Pictures, and it starred Dolph Lundgren, Oscar-winner Louis Gossett Jr., Kim Miyori, Jeroen Krabbe, Nancy Everhard, and Barry Otto. It was directed by Mark Goldblatt. It was never released in US theaters, appearing only in West Germany in 1989 and then released on VHS in 1991. The reasons behind the non-release were less on the film quality and more to do with New World Pictures suffering from financial problems.

This was back in the day when Dolph was the hottest actor in the market, or at least the hungriest, and he was signing his name onto as many roles as he could play after “Rocky IV” came out. He had teamed up with Brandon Lee (son of Bruce Lee) for one movie, became “He-Man” in the “Masters of the Universe”, and served as the foil for Jean-Claude Van Damme in “Universal Soldier”. Basically if you had film that featured a side of beef, that side of beef would answer to the name of Dolph Lundgren. But I digress…

The film starts with a gritty title sequence featuring sill images travelling through a dark service tunnel and Dolph shooting them with his M-60. Then we see a news report of a mob leader being acquitted from the murder of Frank Castle and family. Strangely, the picture of Frank looks nothing like Dolph. Then we see a cocky mob leader boasting his innocence and promising that “The Punisher” would not get near him. As the mob boss drives away, we see a leather-bound boot with a skull-head dagger strapped to it. The boot starts up a motorcycle and follows the limo. “The Boot” follows the mob boss home and proceeds to pick off the players one by one in serial-killer fashion. As the nearby media react to the sounds of gunshots, the house explodes, and we see the shadowy figure of “The Punisher” (Lundgren) hiding in the flames before the rest of the explosions destroy the whole house.

We then hear Punisher begging God to know why he survived when his family didn’t as we see views of that same service tunnel before finishing with a shot of Punisher’s naked backside, then a flashback of the death of his wife and kids.

The scene shifts back to the remains of the destroyed mansion as Lt. Jake Berkowitz (Gossett) shoos away a nagging reporter, and then is told from his superiors that “Frank Castle is dead” and to back off. Berkowitz refuses to back off, though. He is joined by Detective Sam Leary (Everhard), who is told in no uncertain terms that he doesn’t want a partner but changes his mind when she says that she also believes that Frank Castle is not dead.

The media then chase around Gianni Franco (Krabbe), who was the last of the mob bosses and had returned to the United States only to be welcomed by Berkowitz, saying he needed “more bait” to catch the Punisher. Joined by his son, Gianni is quick to take over the mob operation. A ragged drunk (Otto) and bad actor called “Shakes” asks a patron for some financial help before being thrown out of the bar and lured by a moving bottle of booze to divulge what he knows of a drug shipment to the Punisher.

At the nearby drug import, the mob operatives are silently picked off by a gang of ninjas before the Punisher could arrive. He fights off both gang members, but not before being knocked off the pier by a knife-throwing girl. Later Berkowitz sees the Punisher knife in one of the drivers.

Franco briefs his men on the woman behind the attack. It turns out they all work for Lady Tanaka (Miyori) of the Yakuza, and the mute knife-throwing girl is her protégée. Tanaka then arrives at the meeting and tells Franco that they are taking over the family’s operation, which Franco vows will not happen. We also discover that the entire conversation being overheard by Punisher.

At the police office, Leary shows Berkowitz how her computer would predict Punisher’s next location. She says that the Punisher is actually living under the city.

As the Punisher rides about underground, the children of the mob bosses are being kidnapped by the Yakuza. Shake begs Punisher to step in - in bad rhyming form no less - but Punisher seemingly brushes it all off, convinced that the mob bosses consider him “dead” and that he is no longer a threat.

At the Yakuza headquarters, Lady Tanaka plans on selling the kids to the slave market. The kids all know that something is wrong, but Gianni’s son refuses to believe that his father is a bad guy, much less the leader of the whole mafia. (Hey kid, you’re in good company on that part!) When Tanaka tells the kids that they will soon be “taken home”, little Tommy fights back and is taken away.

At a (poorly constructed) Yakuza nightclub (and amateur circus?), the Punisher attacks, tearing up the bar and threatening to continue destroying their businesses for every day that the children are missing. Berokowitz and Leary realize that Punisher is behind this attack. They also find out that the mob children are missing, which Leary says would be something Punisher would do, but Berkowitz says that Punisher couldn’t have kidnapped children and shows her a picture of Castle’s two children as proof.

Shakes shows Punisher that the kids are being held at an abandoned amusement park. He discovers, though, that the Yakuza are waiting for him. They overpower him and Tanaka’s protégé knocks him out. Punisher then is tortured by Tanaka, but that gets nowhere. She then orders that Shakes be tortured, but Punisher doesn’t care either. She leaves frustrated, with him grunting “Have a nice day”, and he then quickly works his way out of his restraints to escape along with his drunken stooge.

Leary and Berkowitz start looking in the sewer tunnels for Punisher’s lair and he tells her how he met Frank Castle and got his life straightened out. Meanwhile, the mob underlings (minus Franco) meet with Tanaka, only to discover that they were poisoned before she arrived and are quickly killed.

The Punisher steals a city bus to rescue the kids, which he does for everyone except for Tommy. This leads to a little bus chase until they run into a police roadblock. (HOW this could be set up at such short notice is anyone’s guess since the police still think that Frank Castle is dead.) Punisher surrenders to the police and lets the kids go. Berkowitz confronts Punisher in jail, but Punisher continues to say that Frank is dead and the guilty are dead and that 125 murders is “a work in progress”.

Franco breaks the Punisher out while being transported to his court arraignment and offers his help to rescue Tommy in exchange for Berkowitz, whom he had also kidnapped. Berkowitz eventually manages to free himself as Punisher and Franco make their way up the various levels of Yakuza soldiers like a poorly-done video game. Punisher takes on the protégée while Tanaka humiliates Franco in front of his son before being killed by the Punisher. With Tommy safe, Franco then tries to kill the Punisher, but is stopped by his son. This gives Punisher the chance to kill Franco in the ensuing struggle. Tommy wants to kill Punisher, but he doesn’t have the heart to do it. Punisher warns Tommy to not follow in his father’s path or else “he’ll be waiting”. Punisher vanishes as Berkowitz shows up, and we end with the Punisher’s monologue about “The guilty will be punished” and showing his naked backside yet again before going to credits.

There. I just saved you a dollar in the bargain basement bin.

I find it hard to even call this a “Punisher” movie. Lundgren’s character may be named Frank Castle, but there was nothing about him that WAS “Punisher”. He didn’t wear the skull-head shirt, and he looked and acted more like a zombie Terminator than as a war veteran. This probably should have been called “Cops and Mobsters” as this was more of a cop movie than it was a movie based on a Marvel Comics character.

Gossett’s character was probably the only thing that really carried the whole movie. It certainly wasn’t “Castle” or “Punisher” or “Mister P” (as “Shakes” referred to him as). And the gratuitous butt shots should have been eliminated, especially since the butt shots were all from the Punisher and followed nihilistic messages. Here’s a word to the wise: nihilism and gratuitous nudity do not mix! The other characters were either forgettable, or, in the case of the rhyming “Shakes”, characters you WANT to forget.

In all, folks, if you see this movie at your local discount video store, save your pocket change unless you’re a serious Louis Gossett Jr. fan. Thankfully Marvel does a whole lot better with this character the next time around.

Capes:	Zero capes out of five. This wasn’t a Marvel Comics story. This was a renegade cop flick using the name “Frank Castle”.
Cheese:	Between the stereotypical characterization of the villains, the amusement park ninja fight, and the cheesy comeback lines, this ended up with some Mild Cheddar (2).
Books:	Three books out of five, running on par with some of the other “renegade cop” films of the time.

Paragon Pundit Hero Movie Review #22

Paragon Pundit Hero Movie Review

#22: Fantastic Four

In the world of comic, the “Fantastic Four” are dubbed “The First Superhero Family”, although in many instances they are the “First Dysfunctional Superhero Family”. Created in 1961 by comic legends Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, the “Fantastic Four” focus on the quartet team of Reed “Mister Fantastic” Richards, Susan “Invisible Girl” Storm, Johnny “Human Torch” Storm, and Ben “The Ever-Loving Blue-Eyed Thing” Grimm. It was the first team series published by Marvel Comics, and it would also be the series that would introduce some of Marvel’s signature villain, including Victor Von Doom (aka “Doctor Doom”) and Galactus. It would also introduce notable cosmic beings The Watcher and Silver Surfer.

The quartet roster would change over the decades as Reed and Susan got married and had children. Temporary members include She-Hulk, Storm (from the X-Men), the Hulk, Spider-Man, Ghost Rider, and Wolverine. This was also a rare superhero team that did not have secret identities, as their lives were as about as public as Hollywood celebrities, and even their Baxter Building stood out in the New York City skyline.

Needless to say, Marvel Comics desperately wanted to do a movie featuring this team, and in the 1980’s they gave the rights to Constatin Film.

Unfortunately those rights were set to expire in 1992 unless filming began before then. Determined to keep the film rights, the studio hired famed B-movie director Roger Corman (of “Battle Beyond the Stars”, “Death Race 2000” and “Galaxy of Terror”) to direct this on the cheap. Production was finished in 1993 and was given an “official” release date for 1994. The cast and crew were all supposedly led to believe that even if the movie would not be released, their work would be used at some point as a pilot for a TV series. The studio then announced that the movie would never be released EVER, all copies were destroyed, any mention of the movie was purged from the books, and all participants were then shipped to undisclosed locations to have their memories wiped by Charles Xavier. (Okay, I’m kidding about the last two parts.)

Bear in mind that the first rule of denying the existence of a movie means that it WILL show up as bootleg releases at comic and fantasy conventions, which is how THIS reviewer knows that the original movie exists!

But with Constatin Film keeping the rights of the film, they were eventually able to raise the money needed to come up with a proper major studio production and release of the “Fantastic Four” movie.

“Fantastic Four” (or “Fantastic 4” as it was alternatively titled) was released by 20^th Century Fox for Constantin Film in 2005, directed by Tim Story. It stars Ioan Gruffuld, Jessica Alba, Michael Chiklis, Chris Evans, Julian McMahon, Kerry Washington, and Laurie Holden, with special cameo appearance by Stan Lee.

The film starts with Reed Richards (Gruffuld) and Ben Grimm (Chicklis) arriving at the door of Von Doom Industries to convince Reed’s old MIT classmate Victor Von Doom (McMahon) to finance his experiment. Reed believed that life on Earth came from a wave of cosmic energy that was set to make its return, and he planned on measuring its effects in space. But when NASA said no to the idea, Reed turned to Victor for help. Victor agrees to the project, provided he goes up to the station with them along with his girlfriend, Dr. Susan Storm (Alba), and her brother, thrill-seeking pilot Johnny (Evans). Reed looks forward to working with Susan again, although Ben objects both to Victor’s presence and to Johnny piloting the shuttle.

In the private space station, Reed discovers that the cosmic wave would reach them sooner than earlier predicted, and it sweeps the station before they could retreat to join Victor in the safety of the shielded sections. They find themselves back on Earth in quarantine, unsure of what the cosmic radiation would do to them.

Sure enough, they each discover the radiation had changed their bodies. Johnny found out his body could generate heat and fire without burning him. Susan’s body could turn invisible and project invisible waves outward. Reed could stretch any part of his body to seemingly infinite lengths. Ben, however, suffers the worst of the changes as he becomes a rock-skinned creature with a deep gravely voice. His changes are so dramatic that his fiancée Debbie (Holden) wants nothing to do with him. Depressed, Ben finds himself on the Brooklyn Bridge and inadvertently causes a scene which has the police and fire department rushing over. When a traffic accident knocks a responding ladder truck over the bridge, the others quickly move to contain the damage and save lives, with their actions being broadcast on TV around the world. The media dubs them the “Fantastic Four”, and Reed takes control of the team and announces they would retreat to the Baxter Building for further study. The change of scenery allow Reed and Susan to get closer, and Ben even ends up with a new girlfriend, in the form of blind artist Alicia Masters (Washington).

The news of the “Fantastic Four” along with the disaster of the space station bankrupts Doom’s business and his investors quickly abandon him. But Doom was also changed from the cosmic wave, and soon he develops electro-magnetic powers as well as taking on a metallic appearance. Reaching for a metallic mask that was once a gift, Doom vows revenge on Reed Richards and his new “family”.

I’m going to leave the rest for you to discover, but sufficient to say the rest of the film does both the characters and their creators justice.

The movie is a welcomed break from the original comic origins, which involved the Mole Man and one of his giant creatures. It provides an easier explanation for their powers, as well as the “unstable molecules” idea that would become key to explain how they could use their powers without ending up naked (something that Alba’s Susan Storm found out the hard way on more than one occasion). I do, however, have to balk at it used to justify Reed’s sudden “touch of grey”.

The casting was top-notch, especially with Chicklis and Evans. Chicklis lived up to the character both as Ben Grimm and as The Thing. Sadly, McMahon’s character of Doom, although narcissistic and sociopathic in nature, was a little wooden… or, in this case, mechanical. Overall the story jumped a few places, but not in crucial ones. I’m surprised that for someone who couldn’t afford to pay his bills, Reed could somehow get funding for the equipment they used when they moved into the Baxter Building. Where was all this equipment at Von Doom’s undisclosed hospital? Or did they blow the money on restaurant settings, helipads, and hot escorts doubling as nurses?

There are multiple versions of the DVD release, including an expanded version that incorporated some of the deleted or alternate scenes. Get them if you wish, but the movie enough is worth the purchase.

Having seen both this version and the original Corman incarnation, I have to say that the executives at Constatin Film redeemed themselves with this release, although it still does not justify the level of duplicity they used surrounding the 1993 production.

Capes:	The heroic qualities of the film gave it four capes out of five.
Cheese:	Sadly, a lot of sharp cheddar (3) cheese, mostly by Evans’ hammy performance and the montage of Johnny’s various pranks and jokes at the expense of Ben.
Books:	Good story, but lacking in a few areas. It only gets four out of five books.

Paragon Pundit Hero Movie Review #21

Paragon Pundit Hero Movie Review

#(21): Superman/Batman: Apocalypse

Before I go into the actual review I feel compelled to give you a complete understanding of one of the key characters in this movie. One of the most troublesome characters for DC Comics of late was one that they had pretty much written off for several years before finally killing her.

Supergirl really didn’t have too much of an appeal as her cousin Superman did. She was sexy and powerful, but not as much as Wonder Woman. Superman could save the world three times a day and in five different comic series, while Supergirl mostly worried about her love life, her friendship with Batgirl (Barbara Gordon), her parents in the bottled Kandor City, and keeping her identity secret.

Her greatest hurrah came during the Crisis on Infinite Earths series, where whole multiple universes were eliminated, and Kara Zor-El dramatically gave her life to save her world and deal a mortal blow to the Anti-Monitor. The event was a shocking turn in the story that would galvanize Superman’s resolve to see the Anti-Monitor destroyed by any means necessary.

And then… she was forgotten. She was written out of the DC Universe, because the new One Earth Only canon dictated that Kal-El of Krypton was the ONLY survivor of that planet.

There were a few attempts to fill the gap, though. Fan-favorite Power Girl still existed as a member of the Justice Society, but her history was retconned a few times so she wouldn’t be an Earth-2 refugee and alternate-universe cousin to Superman, but rather she was a time-lost survivor of Atlantis. She became a Justice League member, and sadly reduced to being an emotional time bomb. She was the foul-tempered “Hot Lips Houlihan” to the “Hawkeye and Trapper” comedy team of Blue Beetle and Booster Gold. She would finally get her respect, and her history, but not before leaving the Justice League and going back to the Justice Society. But even then she could not fill the gap of Supergirl. She was her own woman - with the emphasis on WOMAN - and with the cleavage-showing costume to prove it.

DC tried to bring Supergirl back as an alternate-universe creation using the same plot hole they used to justify having Superboy (another casualty of the Crisis retcon) still serve as the inspiration to the Legion of Super-Heroes. This Supergirl existed in a “pocket universe” in which their Superboy was killed. Soon after, that universe’s Lex Luthor (who didn’t go bald or bad) accidentally released three criminals from the Phantom Zone… yes, Zod, Ursa, and Non… who take over the world. Grief-stricken, Lex creates a “protomater matrix” being (later known as “Matrix”) first to replace Lana Lang (one of the first victims of the Kryptonians) and then later gives her powers so she could become a symbol of the resistance. She would end up being the last survivor of that universe, rescued only by Superman of the “normal” universe. DC allowed her to mature into her own character as Supergirl and played a key role in the “Doomsday” and “World Without A Superman” storylines. Eventually, though, the writers decided to mess with her some more, merging her with a human named Linda Danvers so she could have a human family, giving her a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse hooker costume (to match the one in the animated TV series) making her a fire-powered angel, and eventually really messing things up by switching places with the Pre-Crisis Supergirl, falling in love with Pre-Crisis Superman and having their lovechild, and then finally just becoming a full-blown fallen angel before falling into storyline limbo never to be seen again.

A second attempt to bring Supergirl back involved a future-born daughter of Superman and Lois Lane sent to the past to stop Brainiac-13 from taking over. The storyline was so badly convoluted that getting rid of her was actually a godsend.

Finally we get to THIS incarnation of Supergirl, whose origin became the second storyline in the “Superman/Batman” comic series, and the basis for this current review.

“Superman/Batman: Apocalypse” was released by Warner Brothers as a direct-to-video movie in 2010 and serves as the follow-up to “Superman/Batman: Public Enemies”. The movie features returning voice actors Tim Daly and Kevin Conroy playing Superman and Batman, along with “Justice League” actress Susan Eisenberg returning as Wonder Woman, “Serenity/Firefly” actress Summer Glau, Andre Braugher, and Ed Asner returning from “Superman: The Animated Series” and “Justice League Unlimited” to play Granny Goodness (and, no, that is NOT a mistake).

We start the movie with a quick reference to the events in “Public Enemies”, how ex-President Lex Luthor was awaiting his criminal trial, and that the last remnants of the monstrous Kryptonite meteor were falling but thankfully the world was saved by Superman and Batman. As we hear that, a large chunk of K-rock falls into Gotham Harbor.

Batman (Conroy) investigates the impact to discover there was a spaceship in the meteor, and that it was already opened. Meanwhile, a nude woman (conveniently hidden in shadows of course) steals the Bat-Boat and crashes it on shore. She walks into the streets of Gotham, getting an overcoat from a dock worker to cover herself up before encountering Gotham police officers. She (Glau) speaks a strange language before being whisked skyward by her own uncontrolled power. She encounters Batman, who subdues her with a piece of the Kryptonite rock he fished from the harbor. Taken to the Bat-cave, she meets Superman (Daly) and discovers that he is her cousin from Krypton.

She is taken to the Fortress of Solitude, where Batman still has his suspicions of her. Even Krypto doesn’t like Kara Zor-El, wherein Batman comments that the dog is a good judge of character. Superman takes Kara shopping in his disguise as Clark Kent (BIIIIIG mistake, Clark - you should have let Lois do it) and enjoys a hot dog (yes with all of the usual jokes about the food). But this time together is short-lived as Wonder Woman (Eisenberg) and a team of Amazon warriors kidnap Kara and bring her to Paradise Island for training. This was Batman’s idea, of course, as it would teach Kara to fight and to control her abilities. Superman, of course, doesn’t approve.

Meanwhile, Granny Goodness (Asner) oversees the training of her Female Furies when she is interrupted by Darkseid (Braugher). Darkseid knows that Kal-El’s cousin has appeared and he wants Granny’s furies to bring her to him.

Kara makes friends with Lyla - whom comic fans will remember as Harbinger from “Crisis on Infinite Earths” - although Lyla is plagued with visions of Superman fishing out a blond girl’s dead body from the water. She keeps the visions to herself… and to Batman and Wonder Woman… as she enjoys her time with Kara.

Suddenly, a Boom Tube from Apocalypse appears, bringing forth… Doomsday, the only creature that could (and once did) kill Superman. Then we see a whole ARMY of Doomsday clones. Wonder Woman rallies the Amazons together to fight the monsters, but they are clearly overpowered until Superman unleashed his heat vision and vaporizes the clones. Batman realizes that this was only a diversion, and we find that Lyla’s vision has come true.

At this point I’m going to have to stop the recap because I don’t want to give too much away. Sufficient to say we see the “Big Trinity” of Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman recruiting Big Barda so they could travel to Apocalypse to face Darkseid, but saying anything more would be too much of a spoiler.

The overall story suffers on a few points, and - as usual - the biggest ones are at the end. This is another movie where the story starts off GREAT and then they have to struggle to keep it going to the end. The story fails to fully use the cast of characters seen in “Public Enemies” and instead only gives lip service to the previous movie at the very beginning and then forgetting about it completely. Introducing Barda into the mix was another refreshing step, especially seeing her team up with Wonder Woman in the big battle on Apocalypse. And while the final battle was somewhat refreshing, even the ending came up short.

The animation falls flat in several areas. Where “Public Enemies” had hints of anime (especially with Power Girl), “Apocalypse” goes all-out, with a look that is more “Cowboy Bebop” and “Samurai Champloo” than anything resembling a Bruce Timm production. Here’s a hint for DC producers: next time you want to emulate anime, think more Kenichi Sonoda than Shinichirō Watanabe. This is especially true with the portrayal of Darkseid.

The only positive point here is the vocal talent, and even that has one sore spot. I’m sorry, but Andre Braugher does NOT do a good Darkeid. Just like only Mark Hamill can do the voice of Joker, only Michael Ironside can do the voice of Darkseid. On the other hand, Summer Glau does an excellent Kara, and the vocal combination of Daley, Conroy, and Eisenberg did not fail. And Ed Asner does Granny so well you really wouldn’t know it was a man until you saw the credits.

The follow-up to this movie is a DC Spotlight mini-movie featuring Green Arrow. As with the “Spectre” mini-movie, this story works within the DC Universe and stars Neil McDonough as Oliver Queen/Green Arrow and Malcom McDowell as Merlyn. The movie has a look and feel of “Die Hard 2”, with Oliver trying to save a young visiting queen from being taken by Merlyn and Count Vertigo in the middle of a busy airport. This was actually a much better production than the main feature, both in story and quality. In fact the people behind this mini-movie should be the ones in charge of future productions provided they can carry the same quality on through.

Bonus features (if you spring for the $19 2-disc special edition) include the “Little Girl Lost” story from “Superman: The Animated Series” and a look back at the history of Supergirl, but if you aren’t interested in either, you can always get the regular DVD.

In short, “Apocalypse” was not necessarily a “Superman/Batman” story as it was a “Superman” story, and that pretty much summed up the rest of the main feature. It has potential, but it still fell short in too many ways.

Capes:	Despite having the “DC Trinity”, it only gets four out of five capes.
Cheese:	Thankfully just Swiss Cheese (1).
Books:	Unlike “Public Enemies”, which started strong and ended weak, there was weakness all around, which kept the story only at three out of five books.

Paragon Pundit Hero Movie Review #20

Paragon Pundit Hero Movie Review

#20: The Justice League of America TV Movie

A hero in Paragon City recently wondered what my review would be of the live-action Justice League movie.

Well, you asked for it…

I’m sure some of you are scratching your heads when the words “live-action” and “Justice League” come about. Most people know of the Justice League - the all-star superhero team of DC Comics - only through the animated groups, either in the “Justice League” animated series, the direct-to-video movies (which I will get to later), “Super Friends”, or the 1967 episodes of “The Superman/Aquaman Hour of Adventure”. But, yes, there WERE live-action incarnations as well, much to the regret and overall embarrassment of the hero community.

The first live-action incarnation of the “Justice League” was the “Legends of the Superheroes” specials that were known best for reuniting the campy “Batman” characters headed by Adam West, Burt Ward, and Frank Gorshin. It was super-campy and super-lame, and it made you want to burn your Spandex outfit just for even knowing it exists.

The second incarnation was a 1997 TV movie that was supposed to be a back-door pilot to a future TV series, but thankfully that series never materialized, and the TV movie never EVER aired on American television.

So how did anyone know it even existed? Well, it never aired on any AMERICAN television station. But it aired in a few countries, and a few of those folks taped it and sold the footage in bootleg markets along with the X-rated “Supergirl” parody, the pre-released Roger Corman “Fantastic Four” movie, and a few others.

This movie starred Kimberly Oja, John Kassir, Matthew Settle, Michelle Hurd, Kenny Johnston, David Ogden Stiers, and Miguel Ferrer. It takes place in the fictional city of New Metro. Why they chose to make up a name like “New Metro” instead of taking from already-established cities in the DC Comics universe like Star City, Keystone City, Coast City, Empire City, Gateway City, Happy Harbor, Park City, or even Dairyland (that’s an old “Super Friends” reference), is probably one of a million things that shouldn’t matter.

We start with a bunch of heroes in their civilian attire struggling to live day-by-day. Shy and awkward Tori Olafsdotter (Oja) works at the local weather institute, who, along with her boss, Dr. Eno (Ferrer) observes a huge storm spawning in the middle of the city. Barry Allen (Johnston) is a slacker who got kicked out of his apartment but was called away while his now-ex-landlord was trashing his stuff. Guy Gardner (Settle) is trying to impress his girlfriend, but obviously his plans are ruined by the developing storm. B.B. Da Costa (Hurd) is auditioning for a fruit-themed commercial when the storm forces her to leave. Ray Palmer’s (Kassir) class is interrupted by a mysterious call as well as the sudden storm. Tori and Eno watch as a tornado appears in the city after watching video footage of “The Weatherman” laying claim to the damage and destruction that was to come.

As the city is trashed, we see the heroes save the day in their own unique ways. Guy, as Green Lantern, saves a boy from a downed power line. B.B., as Fire, cuts through a metal wall with her flames to save trapped construction workers. Barry, as The Flash, uses his super-speed to counter the winds and bring the storm to a quick end. And Ray, as The Atom, shrinks down… to rescue a trapped cat. Yes, that is his great contribution to this crisis.

Crisis averted, and later on Tori discovers a mysterious machine in a locked room at the institute, which she spills some water on and it hits her with some strange electricity. She seems okay, but afterward random things around her just freeze. She tries to rescue a drowning man, but the water freezes around him when she comes in contact with it. Later she is abducted and interrogated by the heroes about what she knows of The Weatherman. She’s released and is convinced that the whole abduction and interrogation thing was just a bad dream.

The Weatherman soon strikes again, this time with a hailstorm in the heart of New Metro, and a threat to the city to pay him $20 million “or else”. The hail ruins Guy’s date (again) and this time around he has to save his girlfriend as Green Lantern long enough for Fire to melt the hailstones above them.

Later at the institute’s fundraiser, the League members infiltrate themsevles in the crowd, allowing Ray to befriend Tori in his civilian guise. Ray then sneaks himself into the computer system (with a really BAD version of laser limbo) to discover the devices that The Weatherman used to manipulate the weather. Tori finds out that her boss is really The Weatherman and goes to Ray looking for help. The League takes her (blindfolded) to their underwater headquarters, which is a crashed alien ship. There Tori meets J’onn J’onzz (Stiers). J’onn asks Tori to join the League, promising to help train her in using her powers, which mostly consists of the Leaguers walking around shivering as Tori tries to freeze a simple drop of water in front of her.

Eno tricks Tori into bringing a tracking device to the League’s headquarters, and then Eno threatens to destroy New Metro with a tidal wave and sends a heat ray to the underwater ship. The League (except for J’onn, who thinks that 300 degrees is a “summer day”) escape to “deal” with the impending disaster, which consists of Flash running around scurrying abandoned children to safety, Atom riding on Fire’s shoulders looking around like idiots, and Lantern finding Eno and not being able to stop the tidal wave even though HE HAS A POWER RING! That leaves dazed-and-confused Tori, who somehow manages to stop the tidal wave by freezing it solid, even though she couldn’t freeze a drop of water earlier.

Later, Tori ponders over joining the League, and is finally convinced to join when Atom removes his mask and reveals himself to her as Ray Palmer. At that point she takes the unspoken pledge and J’onn welcomes her to the Justice League. We end the movie with a quick recap cast list of the “public” heroes, followed by them doing the “Buckaroo Banzai Strut” down the city. If you don’t know what that is, you need to see the end credits to “The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension”, or the opening credits to Joss Wheaton’s “Angel” and “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”, or the opening to the “Justice League” animated series. I just think of it as the “Buckaroo Banzai Strut” and start whistling the theme song.

There… I just saved you guys some bootleg video money.

Of course, all through this movie are little “human” troubles… such as Barry not being able to keep a job, Guy losing his girlfriend, Ray not being able to fix anything, and B.B. with a stalker-like suitor who accidentally discovers her secret identity. Oh, and did I mention they all (except for Tori) live in the same house? Well they have to now because Barry lost his apartment.

Let’s see… where do I begin with this abomination?

Right off the bat… a Justice League WITHOUT “The World’s Greatest Super-Heroes” sucks. No Batman, no Superman, and no Wonder Woman means that it SUCKS. There is no way around it. It SUCKS. Period.

Of course I can understand why they wouldn’t want to include Superman after the whole Nuclear Man shtick. And the Batman franchise had JUST tanked with “Batman and Robin”. Bringing in Wonder Woman at that point would… well it would result in plenty of Freudian jokes and references about her chest. Plus it would be hard to see anyone play the most famous star-spangled Amazon after Lynda Carter did it so well.

About the only things missing from this “Super-Buddies” group are Blue Beetle, Booster Gold, Oberon, and either Doctor Light or Power Girl, although with the latter you would again deal with Freudian jokes about chests. But even that would be a step above the banter they do give.

With the exception of Guy Gardner, the costumes SUCK. Atom and Flash both have masks that look like the ridges of J’onn’s brow. Atom looks like a linebacker in his costume. And Flash… I’m sorry, but for a man with supposedly a hyper-accelerated metabolism, he looks like he wolfed down fifty pizzas before squeezing into his Spandex. Fire and Tori (who is only referred to as “Ice” in the credits and is only seen in-costume then) use colored mascara and a shock of color in their hair as their disguise. And people aren’t supposed to know who they are? And for a shape-shifter, J’onn seems to emulate less like a hero and more like Orson Wells, but I suppose that is understandable given the casting.

That brings us to the characters… which also SUCK. Guy Gardner as a sensitive and understanding software salesman? Guy Gardner is a special needs coach and a major league d-bag who wanted EVERYONE from day one to know that he was a Green Lantern. Barry Allen is a police scientist… not to mention - at that time - very, very DEAD. Wally West would have been a better fit for the comedic slacker role. Ray Palmer is a physicist and noted expert in nanotechnology, not a goofy high school teacher who can’t even fix a TV set. Fire and Ice are international fashion models who used their hero status to further their careers. The people seen in this movie are NOTHING AT ALL like the comic book characters they are supposed to be. It’s almost as though the producers told a bunch of clueless writers who have never read a comic book in their lives “Here are a bunch of names and costumes - go make something up that doesn’t look too much like a rip-off of a certain popular NBC sitcom.”

The story… or what little there is of it… also SUCKS. We’re talking “Justice League Antarctica” sucks. We’re talking Bat-Credit-Card SUCKS. We’re talking Superman God-Gaze with amnesia kiss SUCKS.

Guy Gardner has the most powerful ring in the universe, capable of moving whole planets, and he can’t save the Weather Device from being thrown off a tower, block a heat ray, open an elevator door, or stop a tidal wave? Fire couldn’t evaporate the rushing water? Flash couldn’t set up a counter-wave with his vibrations? No it’s all up to Tori, who couldn’t even freeze a drop of water in a Petri dish, who somehow manages to freeze the WHOLE wave right before it falls on her head.

I haven’t been this disappointed with a hero-themed movie since Cathy Lee Crosby did a blonde non-powered flat-chested covered-up Wonder Woman in 1974. CBS actually did their viewers a huge favor by not airing it on US networks. It’s just a pity that SOMEONE still saw it and started spreading it around for the rest of us to watch, much to our later regret.

I’d say that this was all a Nemesis plot, but I doubt even Nemesis would want to put his name on something as miserable as this.

Capes:	One out of five, and I’m being generous.
Cheese:	Full-bore smelly rotted limburger (5) cheese all around.
Books:	One out of five, and, again, I’m being generous.

Paragon Pundit Hero Movie Review #19

Paragon Pundit Hero Movie Review

#19: Superman Returns

After the abysmal failure that was “Superman IV: The Quest for Peace”, the whole Superman franchise was thankfully sent to movie limbo. Superman was relegated to the “Superboy” TV series, a brief Saturday Morning cartoon series on CBS, a romantic comedy series “Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman” on ABC, and back to the world of cartoons with “Superman: The Animated Series” and “Justice League”, and then in the anti-Superboy series “Smallville”. In the comics, he was killed by Doomsday, he came back to life, he finally married Lois Lane, and he finally brought down Lex Luthor.

The call went out to bring Superman back to the big screens, especially after Marvel proved with “Spider-Man” and “X-Men” that big-budget superhero movies still worked.

Warner Brothers considered several approaches. Directors Tim Burton, McG, Kevin Smith, and JJ Abrams each took a shot at trying to come up with something. Superman was going to be played by Ben Affleck, Nicholas Cage, Tom Welling (who already plays anti-Superman Clark in “Smallville”), Ashton Kutcher, Brendan Fraser… well pretty much anyone who was young and had a leading role someplace was approached to play Superman. The “Doomsday” story was going to be re-created. Then it was “Batman vs. Superman”. Then it was Superman versus Brainiac.

Finally it fell to “X-Men” director Bryan Singer, who said that he was a huge fan of the original Richard Donner movie, and he managed to bring Superman back to the big screen.

“Superman Returns” was released by Warner Brothers and Legendary Pictures in 2006, and it starred Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth, Kevin Spacey, Parker Posey, James Marsden, Frank Langella, Sam Huntingon, Eva Marie Saint, Tristian Lake Leabu, and - thanks to the magic of modern technology - the late Marlon Brando. The film also brings back brief appearances by Noel Neill and Jack Larson.

The film starts with a text introduction of Superman’s brief origin and mentions that scientists had discovered the possible remains of the Planet Krypton. We then see Krypton as the voice of Jor-El (Brando) gives an important speech from father-to-son. This is the same speech made in the original “Superman” film. As we pull away from Krypton, we see the massive red sun as it collapses into a nova. The shockwave of the destroyed sun then tears Krypton apart, scattering its remains outward. (This is similar to way Krypton was destroyed in the original movie, albeit not as realistic-looking.)

As the credits roll in the same manner as the original film, we travel through space seeing all sorts of cosmic wonders. We finally arrive on Earth, where Martha Kent (Saint) is cleaning up after a night of Scrabble. Suddenly a huge object crashes into the field. She drives out to find a crashed Kryptonian ship, and Clark Kent/Superman (Routh) wearing a grey-and-black Kryptonian bodysuit.

Elsewhere, an elderly woman (Neill) is on her last breath as she praises the man she loved and helped to make her last days special. As her relatives pound on the door begging to be let in, she uses the last of her strength to sign away everything she has to Lex Luthor (Spacey). Luthor pulls off his toupee and tells the family he owns everything, and then leaves with the maid (Posey) who was working for him all along.

The next morning, Clark reflects on his childhood in Kansas, remembering when he could first fly and no longer needing glasses. He tells his adopted mother that he buried the crashed ship so nobody would find it, and that, despite what the scientists originally suggested, there was nothing left of Krypton. He notes that the world had gotten worse since he left and wonders if there is a place for him as well.

Luthor and Kitty travel by yacht north as he lectures her on the story of Prometheus, the god who shared fire with the humans. Kitty says that he’s no god, to which Luthor says that gods are people in capes (Superman) who fly around and don’t “share” their power with the people. He doesn’t want to be a god, he just wants to share “the fire”… and get his cut. Wait, I thought he wanted LAND.

We discover that Luthor has found Superman’s Fortress of Solitude, and activated the crystal control panel, where the spirit of Jor-El (using footage from the first movie digitally remastered) mistakes him for Kal-El. Kitty comments that Lex acts like he’s been there before (a subtle hint to “Superman II”). Then Lex asks the spirit of Jor-El to tell him everything, starting with the crystals.

Clark returns to the Daily Planet, where his return is largely ignored by everyone except Jimmy Olson (Huntington). Perry White (Langella) comments that he only got his job back because another reporter had the audacity to die. Jimmy gets Clark caught up on what had happened, including how Lois Lane is engaged, has a son, and has finally won her much-sought Pulitzer Prize… for an article entitled “Why the World Doesn’t Need Superman”. How’s that for a kick in the codpiece?

Back at Lex’s new home (which is now missing one pet dog), his henchmen shave off a sliver of one of the Fortress crystals and then drops it into the miniature lake of a railroad set. At first nothing happens. Then the ground beings to shake and all electricity is shut off.

As Clark and Jimmy have a lunchtime drink and tell their sorrows to the bartender (Larson), they watch Lois Lane (Bosworth) on board the launch jet of an experimental shuttle as it ascends. Suddenly the power goes out in the bar. This is followed by the power going out at NASA. This is followed by the power going out on the shuttle and the jet. Power is quickly restored, but both the jet and the space plane are locked in launch mode, hurling into the upper reaches of space.

News of the runaway space plane and airline cuts across all networks. Clark runs into a nearby alley and rips open his shirt to show the legendary “S” shield. Superman is then seen racing into space to catch up with the jet and the shuttle. He uses his heat vision to separate the shuttle from the jet and guides it into a safe orbit, then races down to catch the jet, which is now in a free-fall. He catches the jet and brings it safely down in the middle of a ballfield. Lois is shocked to discover he has returned and, in a scene reminiscent of the first movie, tells everyone flying is still the safest way to travel. As he leaves the plane, his face is shown on cameras all around the world and everyone cheers at his return as he flies off into the skies… and as Lois faints down the emergency slide.

Later Clark catches up with Lois, who is also introduced to her fiancé Richard White (Marsten) and their son Jason (Leabu), who suffers from asthma. Richard is Perry’s nephew, which probably explains how he somehow managed to get an editor’s position. Clark is also shocked to learn that Luthor was acquitted of all charges after Superman wasn’t on Earth to testify in the appeal of his conviction. Feeling rejected after peeping into the White Family life, Superman spends his time saving the world from all sorts of problems, and Lex is busy getting his new master plan in motion.

I don’t want to ruin the whole story for those who haven’t seen it, so I’m going to leave it there. Sufficient to say, Lex’s old ambitions from the first movie will come back to the forefront, and we discover another reason for us to hear Jor-El’s speech from father-to-son.

First, this hero reviewer has to thank Director Singer for doing what twenty years could not… and that is to get us to FORGET about “Superman III”, “Supergirl”, and especially “Superman IV”. And it did it from the first few minutes on in by bringing us back to the original movie, with Jor-El and the score from John Williams.

Brandon Routh looks like he was born to inherit the cape from the late Christopher Reeve. He plays both Superman and Clark Kent in the same way as Reeve once did, and I would dare say that at times he does Clark one step better than Reeve did. This Clark Kent isn’t a total bumbling buffoon. The only disturbing part about his Superman character is when he uses his powers to peep into the White household. Understandable, given his abilities, but still somewhat disturbing.

Kate Bosworth did an okay job as Lois Lane, although somewhat detached. She looks great as a brunette… far better than her natural blonde color… but she doesn’t really fit into the role as did Margot Kidder, or even as Erica Durance does in “Smallville”.

On the other hand, Kevin Spacey does an EXCELLENT Lex Luthor, and he outdoes Gene Hackman’s comedic approach to the character from the original movie. He does make wisecracks, but he is also very, VERY dangerous, and he lets the audience know just how dangerous he really is after getting out of prison.

Parker Posey as Kitty, Luthor’s girl-of-the-moment, is also one step above Valerie Perrine’s Eve Tessmacher. She’s not there to be eye candy. She’s there to be Luthor’s assistant, and she’s not an idiot, even though she is often treated as one.

And then there’s Eva Marie Saint as Martha Kent. Though she only has a limited role in this movie, she still lives up the part of Clark’s adopted mother in both the beginning and near the end of the film.

As for the movie itself, the special effects are mind-blowing! From Krypton’s destruction, to Superman catching the falling plane, to the various ways he stops bullets and saves Metropolis, to just watching him hover over Metropolis listening in for problems, they all make you feel like he’s really doing these things.

Sadly, though, the story is just a bit off in a few places. Superman blowing out a natural gas fire like it was a candle is one of them. A sonic wave by clapping his hands would have resolved that. The effect of the Kryptonian crystals shutting down power EVERYWHERE, even in the upper reaches of the atmosphere, didn’t make sense either. On land, okay. But in the air too? And how is it that the SLIVER of the crystal could cause far more of an effect EVERYWHERE opposed to the whole crystal itself?

Although this movie doesn’t really fit in with the whole Superman series (and I’ll have more on that in a future special comment), it certainly should have been. Singer, Routh, and company brought the Superman series back from cinema limbo. Now it is up to Warner Brothers to make sure they don’t squander the second chance they were given.

Capes:	Clearly earned all five capes.
Cheese:	Although there is some cheese, it’s only Swiss (1), and a far improvement from the full-blown limburger of the previous films.
Books:	Sadly, I could only give it four books out of five. There’s a good story in there, but not a GREAT story.

Paragon Pundit Hero Movie Review #18

Paragon Pundit Hero Movie Review

#18: Superman/Batman: Public Enemies

"Superman/Batman: Public Enemies” was released by Warner Brothers as a direct-to-video movie in 2009. It is the latest in a string of direct-to-video movies based on previous comic storylines. In this case, the first six issues of the “Superman/Batman” series, which was created in homage to the old “World’s Finest” series.

“Public Enemies” was adapted from Jeph Loeb’s six-part series by Stan Berkowitz, and directed by longtime DC Universe animator Bruce Timm. The movie reunites some of the DCU Animated’s best voice actors, as well as brings in a connection to the CW series “Smallville”, and the long-overdue animated debut of a certain fan-favorite character.

We start with a quick glimpse into a possible future. The United States is in a full-blown financial meltdown, even worse than it has been recently. Misery leads to anger, anger leads to rioting, rioting leads to martial law. And in the turmoil and talk of revolt, one man steps forward offering hope and change… and that man is…

LEX LUTHOR!

No, seriously. Lex Luthor (Clancy Brown) not only becomes a serious contender for the White House, but he wins. And as soon as he gets sworn in, he fixes the economy. Times are easier. The sun is shining brighter. And he also has a plan to deal with some of the other loose ends in society… namely the superheroes. To that end, he has recruited his own super-team consisting of Captain Atom (Xander Berkley from “24”), Katanna (Chiara Zanni), Black Lightning (LeVar Burton from “Star Trek: The Next Generation”), Major Force (Ricardo Chavira from “Desperate Housewives”), Starfire (Jennifer Hale), and… Power Girl (Allison Mack from “Smallville”).

Wait, you thought I would say “Supergirl”, right? I’ll get back to that one.

What’s missing from this group, though, are the “big guns”. Namely Superman (Tim Daly) and Batman (Kevin Conroy). Despite Captain Atom’s rather condescending recruiting effort, the Man of Steel isn’t buying the idea that Lex has either changed or that he’s really done some good as President. But soon President Luthor has a reason to reach out to Superman… in the form of a giant chunk of Kryptonite making its way to Earth. An asteroid so large it would destroy all life on the planet if it hits, and full of so much Kryptonite radiation that Superman would not be able to get near it much less try to divert or stop it, even if he wore lead armor.

Luthor has a plan to launch high-powered nuclear missiles at the asteroid, which he says would work because HE did all the calculations. But his experts, including his advisor Amanda Waller (CCH Pounder), want Superman involved “just in case”.

Superman agrees to meet with Luthor, and Luthor demands complete accommodation. He wants Superman to work FOR him, not just WITH him. And then Superman begins to weaken. He discovers that Luthor’s Secret Service bodyguard is really John Corben, a.k.a. Metallo (John C. McGinley), the cyborg with a Kryptonite heart. This leads to a battle in a graveyard, with Batman joining in. Metallo uses a sliver of Kryptonite broken off in the fight to create a bullet which he shoots into Superman’s chest. Batman tries to extract it, but not before Metallo buries them both in an open grave.

I won’t say what happens next, but sufficient to say they escape their shared grave and make their way to the Batcave. We are treated to a great conversation between the two about shared villains before arriving at the cave and being treated by Alfred (Alan Openheimer). Luthor then addresses the nation, declaring Superman unstable and a threat to the country because of the approaching Kryptonite. He puts a bounty of one billion dollars on Superman’s head. (Yes, that’s BILLION with a “B”.)

As you can imagine, just about every villain in the DC Universe big and small come out of the woodwork to claim that bounty, so we are treated to plenty of fighting before Captain Atom’s team comes in, and then we have still more fighting. And our “most wanted” get an ally, which leads to still MORE fighting; including bringing in two more iconic figures that can match Superman and Batman in brains and brawn.

Meanwhile Lex’s plan was a big failure… no big surprise there. But what is surprising is that he doesn’t seem to CARE that it failed. There’s a reason why, but I won’t spoil it for you. You can probably guess what it is.

Sadly, without giving away the ending, this is where the story starts to break down. Stopping the Kryptonite follows the story set in the comic series with a few twists. Dealing with President Luthor also TRIES to follow that story, but obviously fails, partly because the reasons in the comic series were a little more complicated. But even without the extraneous circumstances there was room to better resolve that subject without making it overly cheesy, which it was.

The vocal casting was OUTSTANDING. Bringing in Tim Daly, Kevin Conroy, and Clancy Brown together for the first time in nine years was a great feat because it really made the banter between the characters stand out. Then you throw in Allison Mack, CCH Pounder, John C. McGinley, Ricardo Chavira, and LeVar Burton, and you end up with an incredible talent pool to work with.

And unfortunately, some of that talent is badly under-utilized. LeVar Burton has only ONE cognitive line in the whole movie outside of the usual fight-scene grunts. In the comics, Black Lightning is not only a superhero, but in his civilian guise as a schoolteacher he served as the Secretary of Education! I was hoping to catch some of that personality in the movie, even if for a minute, and there were opportunities to bring it in. Amanda Waller was the most formidable woman behind-the-scenes even before Luthor was President, but in the comics she wasn’t just an “advisor”, she was a member of Luthor’s cabinet. This is a woman that knows where all the closet skeletons are and she doesn’t play games! In the comics, the “unnamed general” would have been General Sam Lane, Secretary of Defense and father-in-law to Clark Kent. These are all elements that WOULD have fleshed out the story much better if the folks at DC gave them more time to use them.

The penultimate battle involving Superman, Batman, and their two “adversaries” was FAR shorter than it should have been, with far less banter. There is reference to a certain maneuver, but in the comics there was an explanation as to WHAT it is and to WHO reportedly invented it. That too could have been mentioned to flesh out the action and it wasn’t.

Sadly it appears that this video, like many others before it, have succumbed to the unseen requirement that EVERY made-for-video production for the DC Universe fit into Cartoon Network’s broadcast schedule, even though the Time Warner-owned cable channel has decided to go with live action and still more recycled anime. It is this requirement that has slashed otherwise potentially great stories into pieces. DCU people should just make the movie and let Cartoon Network decide for themselves how many of their shows they would have to pre-empt if they wish to air it.

The BIGGEST plus to this movie is the inclusion of Power Girl. For those who do not know, Power Girl was an alternate world’s version of Supergirl, only she never wore the colors and she was always more WOMAN than GIRL. (That’s why she is also very much a fan favorite as well as one of my favorites.) It was always hard to explain her in the DC Universe outside of the comics, especially since they needed to differentiate her from Supergirl. The writers got around this by just not saying who she is. They just put her in the movie and showed that she had SOME sort of connection to Superman, but that it was never explained. Casting Allison Mack (Chloe Sullivan from “Smallville”) made the character sound mature and naïve without sounding like a ditz. The only downside was they made her face look TOO much like an anime character, which didn’t fit when you look at how they showed villainesses like Giganta, Shiva, and Silver Banshee. Other than that, she was essentially the fourth star of the film, and she rightly deserved to be there.

There are some canonical references that go unexplained in the movie, such as Superman’s funeral, Superman married to Lois Lane, the conversation about a villain named Magpie, which each do a great job fleshing out the friendship that Batman and Superman have. If they had spent as much time with the ending as they did with these little details during the first half of the movie, it would be an OUTSTANDING production.

In terms of heroes, you can’t find a better definition than with Superman and Batman. They do what is right, not just what is “expected” of them, and their inner-strength helps sway others to the cause.

If you read the comics, be prepared to do a LOT of face-planting, especially at the end. If you watched the Justice League animated series, you’ll be a little confused by some of the differences. But if you’re neither of these, you’ll probably enjoy ninety-percent of the movie and grit-and-grimace over the ending.

Capes:	It earned all five capes easily.
Cheese:	It starts out with little cheese but unfortunately went into sharp cheddar (3) by the end.
Books:	SOLID storyline at first, but how it wraps up brings it down from four books to two.